Theatre major: “useless degree” or training for the good stuff in life?
As Princeton from the musical Avenue Q sings, “Four years of college and plenty of knowledge have earned me this useless degree.” I often joke about my BFA in Musical Theatre being a “useless degree.” After all, you have to audition to book theatre gigs — and casting directors don’t necessarily care if you graduated college, as long as you’re right for the part!
Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for the training I got in college. And the best part of majoring in musical theatre was meeting my core group of lifelong friends (shout out to my CSUF best buddies)! A life in theatre also led me to pretty much everything I cherish most — friendships, my husband (and therefore my children)!
What I didn’t expect my theatre education and career to prepare me for was parenthood! Turns out, there are quite a few things I learned from theatre that have come in handy when it comes to being a mom/stepmom.
Empathy and Vulnerability : Must-hAves In both tHEATRE AND PARENTING
Accessing vulnerability in acting class along with my peers helped me tap in to the ability to wholeheartedly put myself in someone else’s shoes. I’ve been a deeply feeling person for as long as I can remember, but something about theatre just cracks your heart wide open.
As actors, we dig deep to understand a character. Even when playing the antagonist in a story, it’s our job to find that person’s humanity. We look at the story from their point of view. We pull from our own experience to find common ground in preparation for playing that role.
When my child is upset, even over something seemingly small, tapping into that empathy and having compassion for him is more helpful to both of us than if I were to get frustrated.
I have deep feelings when big, sad things happen, so it’s helpful to try and see things from his point of view and realize that, in that moment, to a toddler, that IS a big, sad thing. It also helps to recognize that the “small” thing is often just the trigger for bigger, underlying emotions to be released.
Sure, sometimes it’s much easier said than done. But I believe that if I can consistently model empathy as they grow, my kids will not only feel safe to be vulnerable with me no matter what, but they will make the world a better place with their own empathy towards others.
Improv: NoT JUST FOR THE STAGE
Six Hilarious Improv Games for Kids: Spark Laughter and Creativity at Home
Improv skills are helpful for all interpersonal relationships, but man do they come in handy when you want to fully engage in creative play with your kids.
One of my favorite pieces of advice when it comes to playing with your kids is: “Try to be the best improv scene partner in the world.”
In improv comedy, the golden rule is “Yes, and…” — to accept and build upon others’ ideas. So, when I join my kids in pretend play, I wholeheartedly dive in, treating their ideas with seriousness and removing the pressure to correct them.
Kids often feel a sense of powerlessness. Most decisions, both big and small, are made for them on a daily basis. Allowing them to take the lead in play and eagerly accepting their ideas by using the “yes and” method is incredibly meaningful and allows them to fulfill that desire to have some control and autonomy.
The “yes and” method is not only helpful when it comes to play. When we can shift our mindset to be more agreeable and supportive, we may realize that we don’t actually need to be saying “no” quite as often as we parents think we do!
What You Need To Know About Play: Expert Advice from a Play Therapist, Improv Master, and Mom
Characters On Demand: A ThEATRE Parent’s Specialty
Story time is just more fun with more expression and variety of character voices and accents, right?
And being able to seamlessly switch into different outrageous characters is definitely helpful when it comes to playing silly games like Bath Time Coffee Shop or Broccoli Haircut.
One thing I’ve noticed about my stepdaughter when it comes to imaginative play: she fully commits to her character. If I forget we’re playing that she’s my grown-up friend, and I remind her to go potty, her eyes will widen with concern and she’ll whisper, “You forgot to say, ‘Pause Game!’”
How dare I break character! I’ll have to quickly jump back in with, “Hey, girl. I know you’ve been busy running errands all day. If you need to use my restroom, it’s right over there!” She happily heads to the potty, feeling respected, as both her character and as herself.
Perhaps the most useful characters we’ve developed are “Marsha and Jill” — the “cleaning service” ladies who come tidy up our house. (Spoiler alert: WE are Marsha and Jill).
How to Make Cleaning Fun For Kids (And Grownups!)
Performances On The Spot
One night, while I was cooking dinner, my son and stepdaughter were starting to get hangry. My husband had to work late.
“When’s Daddy getting home? I miss Daddy!” was on repeat. I was hangry, too, and tempted to whine back to them, “I STILL don’t know. Please stop asking me!!!”
Instead, I dug deep to summon my “Show Must Go On” spirit, twirled the spatula above my head, wiggled my bootie and did a full-out, no marking, impromptu song-and-dance entitled “Boo-Hoo, I Miss Him Too!” with some silly fake-sobbing sprinkled in.
They both cackled with delight all the way to the dinner table. It turned my mood around, too. I felt much better than I would have had I given in to the urge to snap at them.
Do I always have the energy for this? Absolutely not. But when I do…
Spontaneously bursting into song and dance isn’t just for musicals. It’s a lifesaver with kids.
And guess what? You don’t have to be a good singer. Or songwriter. Or dancer. They don’t care. They will love it. Trust me: my husband is not one to carry a tune, but his singing gets requested nightly from our son.
staying playful: essential for theatre performer and parents
This is the most powerful benefit of all.
As a theatre performer, it is literally your job to play. You are performing in a PLAY. You are PLAYING a role!
You cannot lose touch with your innate sense of playfulness and succeed in the world of theatre. Playfulness is absolutely kept alive through theatre, no matter how old you are. What a gift!
It’s no wonder that all of my theatre friends are silly, playful, fun, and creative. This is not exclusive to my friends. This is, in general, a byproduct of being a theatre person.
And those qualities are invaluable when it comes to parenting. Playfulness is the number one quality that transformed my relationship with my stepdaughter, has helped me navigate toddlerisms with my son, and has changed the energy in our home for the better.
Adopting a more playful mindset is a powerful way to move through parenthood (and life!) and form strong, lifelong connections with our children.
And, while I never lost touch with my silly, playful side, it DID take me a while to figure out that it was my best asset when it came to parenting.
Once I discovered how to incorporate playfulness into our every day interactions and sprinkle play and silliness in throughout the day, everything changed for the better.
Not a theatre person?
I’m so glad you’re reading this!
I wholeheartedly believe that anyone can get back in touch with their innate sense of playfulness from childhood — even those whose childhood was sadly unsafe for play or missing that laughter and playful connection.
The benefits I mentioned above are not exclusive to “theatre people.” These are qualities that anyone can access with willingness, practice, and consistency.
My biggest advice? Start very small. Follow the Playful Heart Parenting Instagram account for very simple, easy daily tips and ideas. Try lots of different little things, and see what makes YOU laugh and feel connected with your inner child.
It is never too late to play.
Click here to download my free list of 25 easy, silly moments to share with your kids!
Hi! I’m Mia.
Mom, stepmom, wife, songwriter, performer, and theater educator.
I love sharing ideas, tips, and templates for connecting with kids through low-to-no budget, waste-free, creative play.
